Post by Chris on May 5, 2005 14:31:42 GMT -5
At this point, you have probably read my introductory thread. We shared a laugh, got to know each other a bit, and not just in a superficial way. I bared my soul for all to read. That's why from here on in I'm dropping the "topher"... Just call me Chris.
But I digress... Im here to answer the burning question on all of your minds. Why would Chris, a smart, witty, very attractive and certainly well-endowed young man waste his time entertaining a bunch of 20-year-old virgins? Shouldn't he be out doing something to benefit all society, like finding a cure for cancer, or plotting to assassinate Kelly Clarkson (who herself is a malignant lump on the breast of America)?
The answer to the former is simple: I want money. Frankly, that is the whole point of the internet. Don't believe me? Let's consult an information database so vast it gives Stephen Hawking a woody just thinking about it:
images.google.com/images?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&q=whats+the+point+of+the+internet&btnG=Search
That proves it.
So one day, God willing, I'll be able to live the dream of the internet millionaire, and sell all of your private information to the highest bidding credit card company. Until then, help me with my shameless self-promotion by telling all your friends about how much pussy they will get simply by reading my threads.
Just so you newbies will have something to look forward to, here's a list of topics i'll be covering. This includes, but is not limited to:
Assholes who drive expensive cars.
Nerds (like you) who listen to rap.
Douchebags who go to dance clubs.
And, for all of you rich suburbanites, I might even throw in something about that new trend where the aforementioned assholes put those European license plates on their expensive cars.
But I digress... Im here to answer the burning question on all of your minds. Why would Chris, a smart, witty, very attractive and certainly well-endowed young man waste his time entertaining a bunch of 20-year-old virgins? Shouldn't he be out doing something to benefit all society, like finding a cure for cancer, or plotting to assassinate Kelly Clarkson (who herself is a malignant lump on the breast of America)?
The answer to the former is simple: I want money. Frankly, that is the whole point of the internet. Don't believe me? Let's consult an information database so vast it gives Stephen Hawking a woody just thinking about it:
images.google.com/images?hl=en&lr=&safe=off&q=whats+the+point+of+the+internet&btnG=Search
That proves it.
So one day, God willing, I'll be able to live the dream of the internet millionaire, and sell all of your private information to the highest bidding credit card company. Until then, help me with my shameless self-promotion by telling all your friends about how much pussy they will get simply by reading my threads.
Just so you newbies will have something to look forward to, here's a list of topics i'll be covering. This includes, but is not limited to:
Assholes who drive expensive cars.
Nerds (like you) who listen to rap.
Douchebags who go to dance clubs.
And, for all of you rich suburbanites, I might even throw in something about that new trend where the aforementioned assholes put those European license plates on their expensive cars.
