Post by Chris on Dec 13, 2005 20:54:18 GMT -5
This story is about this party I found myself at in October, 2005:
The party was in some kid's parent's basement, but it was a complete disaster. The best way to fully grasp the level of grimeyness I witnessed is to close your eyes and have someone read this description to you:
First, imagine that you're in the dirtiest bar you've ever been in. Now, imagine that your in the bathroom of said bar, only its 20 long by 30 feet wide, and its packed to the hilt with circus freaks. And there's no toilets, so it smells like people have been pissing and shitting willy-nilly throughout the entire room. Now, imagine that this bar is in a thrid world country and everybody has some combination of AIDS, Hepatitus, and dysentary. That roughly describes the zoo I found myself in that friday night.
The people in the room are worthy of their own paragraph as well. The room was predominantly male, but to my suprise there were a few girls in the room. Of course, I was imediately very suspicious of anyone that could be in the environment I just described and still claim to have a vagina. Anyway, everyone was dressed like those kids who shot up Columbine, and seemed really in to the shitty hardcore "band" that was playing in the corner. They were all dressed in black and were wearing Doc Martens or some other boots that are ugly but probably fun to kick people in the face with.
Me and two friends were nestled in a corner (near the door, so we could make a speedy getaway if the place turned in to a giant blood orgy or somethign like that). We were dressed like regular people, collared shirts, hooded sweatshirts, and white sneakers. I remember thinking that the only way we could have stood out more was if we were black. I was dead wrong. Here's why:
I did a quick survey of the room on the fools hope that there might have been one fuckable girl somewhere in the midst. One did catch my eye, and I could not believe what I was staring at; In front of me was a real-live tatooed female midget. She was smoking a cigarette, and from the looks of it, kicking ass in the mosh pit.
I naturally thoght this had to be a really, really, ridiculously hilarious joke. Why was she there? I looked around, no padding on the walls, she wasn't dressed in football gear, so this clearly wasn't a midget-tossing event. Was she some poor schlub's girlfriend? If not, would she give me head in the in the garage without having to get on her knees? How exactly do you kick it to a midget anyway?
These questions begged for answers, none of which I got. I was hauled off by some of my friends who had it with this faux-carnival, leaving behind the party and with it, my only chance of getting head from someone short enough to walk under a table. I never saw that midget again.
The party was in some kid's parent's basement, but it was a complete disaster. The best way to fully grasp the level of grimeyness I witnessed is to close your eyes and have someone read this description to you:
First, imagine that you're in the dirtiest bar you've ever been in. Now, imagine that your in the bathroom of said bar, only its 20 long by 30 feet wide, and its packed to the hilt with circus freaks. And there's no toilets, so it smells like people have been pissing and shitting willy-nilly throughout the entire room. Now, imagine that this bar is in a thrid world country and everybody has some combination of AIDS, Hepatitus, and dysentary. That roughly describes the zoo I found myself in that friday night.
The people in the room are worthy of their own paragraph as well. The room was predominantly male, but to my suprise there were a few girls in the room. Of course, I was imediately very suspicious of anyone that could be in the environment I just described and still claim to have a vagina. Anyway, everyone was dressed like those kids who shot up Columbine, and seemed really in to the shitty hardcore "band" that was playing in the corner. They were all dressed in black and were wearing Doc Martens or some other boots that are ugly but probably fun to kick people in the face with.
Me and two friends were nestled in a corner (near the door, so we could make a speedy getaway if the place turned in to a giant blood orgy or somethign like that). We were dressed like regular people, collared shirts, hooded sweatshirts, and white sneakers. I remember thinking that the only way we could have stood out more was if we were black. I was dead wrong. Here's why:
I did a quick survey of the room on the fools hope that there might have been one fuckable girl somewhere in the midst. One did catch my eye, and I could not believe what I was staring at; In front of me was a real-live tatooed female midget. She was smoking a cigarette, and from the looks of it, kicking ass in the mosh pit.
I naturally thoght this had to be a really, really, ridiculously hilarious joke. Why was she there? I looked around, no padding on the walls, she wasn't dressed in football gear, so this clearly wasn't a midget-tossing event. Was she some poor schlub's girlfriend? If not, would she give me head in the in the garage without having to get on her knees? How exactly do you kick it to a midget anyway?
These questions begged for answers, none of which I got. I was hauled off by some of my friends who had it with this faux-carnival, leaving behind the party and with it, my only chance of getting head from someone short enough to walk under a table. I never saw that midget again.